Monday afternoon, in my car on the way to swim lessons I happened to glance out the passenger side window just in time to see two sleazy looking men looking back at me from a boxy old, primer grey Isuzu pick-up. Just as I was about to give a nervously friendly wave, the driver shouted something in my direction, threw his head back, and they sped off laughing. If I were a more naive person I would have given him the benefit of the doubt and assumed that he said "Some hitch!" in reference to the tow package on the back of my van, or maybe "Bum itch!" suggesting vigorous back-side scratching as an explanation for his erratic behavior. Call me superficial, but I am a girl who judges a book by its cover, and based on their heavy gage body piercings, death metal bumper stickers and matching construction orange t-shirts, I knew better.
Of course I began to self-blame. Did I cut him off...was I driving too slowly...did he find me singing "Cats! The Musical" and he couldn't abide a corny yet admittedly catchy show tune?
Honestly, how pathetic and guilt spongey could I be? I quickly gave myself a good scolding, and formulated a more acceptable explanation. Clearly those men are misogynistic creeps who resort to random acts of verbal bullying to feel powerful and (being the tender and soft hearted woman that I am) I should pity the bleakness of their sad little lives.
Sighing with relief, brimming with righteous indignation and a healthy dose of moral superiority, I hoped that they happened to look back at me in their rear view mirror at the exact moment my lips were mouthing some words which may or may not have been "Thumb Suckers."
CC
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